Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
