I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
