He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
