Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
