he was CRYING into my vagina
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize