u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
love makes seman taste better
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
