considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
