My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Randomize
