Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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