You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
