New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
