Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
