somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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