i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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