I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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