i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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