operation harelip BJ is a go
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
