Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
