return my video game
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
