Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
time to smoke my breakfast
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
