Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
