She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
