I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
