so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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