If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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