Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize