i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
