P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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