next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
