i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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