census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
