dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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