it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
