Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
