just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Couch. On fire.
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