Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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