How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
