after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
