I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
