the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
