If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
