im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
