drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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