my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
