Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Found your dick twin last night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
