flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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