Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
