Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
