I want to stick my p in your. b.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
