Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
please don't ironically join a cult
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