So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
