As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
