Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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