Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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