GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
