U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
