You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
