If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
