you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
