I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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