Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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