please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
COCAINE IS GR8
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
