dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
