Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He better not be in your backpack
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
